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markscherz:

Apparently the Japanese used to use fleas infected with bubonic plague to bomb people.

That’s evil. It’s not exactly something you can… flea from.

  • Dad:

    So how's the grilled corn?

  • Me:

    I love it! It's a-maize-ing!

  • Dad:

  • Me:

  • Dad:

  • Me:

  • Dad:

    This has to stop.

  • Mom:

    Could you look up a garlic naan recipe to go with the curry I'm making?

  • Me:

    Sure, I actually own a cookbook all about South Asian flatbreads!

  • Mom:

    Really?

  • Me:

    Yeah!

  • Me:

    It's a naan-fiction book.

  • Mom:

    Leave.

markscherz:

When mushrooms get married, one never takes the name of the other. They always hypaenate.

keeping-you-from-boredom:

I loved that one

keeping-you-from-boredom:

I loved that one

silly:

This printer is now called Bob Marley because it’s always ‘jammin’

silly:

This printer is now called Bob Marley because it’s always ‘jammin’

adailypickupline:

So what’s yourstar sign?

adailypickupline:

So what’s yourstar sign?

memeguy-com:

Well you cant exactly say no to them

memeguy-com:

Well you cant exactly say no to them