WHOEVER BUYS THIS FOR ME WINS MY ETERNAL LOVE
I OWN THIS
EVERY MORNING HE SAYS SOMETHING DIFFERENT ABOUT HOW THE WORLD NEEDS YOU AND YOU HAVE TO GET UP
AND WHEN YOU PRESS THE BUTTON TO HUSH HIM HE SAYS “DEFTLY DONE, MADAM,” OR “IF IT’S NOT TOO FORWARD OF ME, THAT DID TICKLE, MADAM”
IT WAKES YOU UP WITH THE SOUND OF CHIRPING BIRDS BEFORE STEPHEN FRY’S VOICE
EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE ONE
I NEED ONE PLEASE GET IT FOR ME PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
It’s so charming I would feel really bad sleeping through it.
But that wouldn’t stop me.
BUY ME THIS
I WILL RIP MY HEART OUT AND SELL IT TO YOU FOR IT
I REALLY FUCKING WANT THIS
If you buy this for me I will love you 5ever
I’m just like, twitching with want. TWITCHING.
OH MY GOD, WANT.
If I don’t have this I will die.
TAKE THE MONEY! JUST TAKE IT.
The oldest person alive was born on April 19, 1897, meaning that April 18th, 1897 was approximately the last time the Earth was inhabited by an entirely different set of people and if you don’t think that’s the realist shit ever then you can get right on outta town.
my eyes change colour depending on my swag levels. they are the darkest brown when my swag levels are at a maximum. i have never seen them change
“you can’t wear that!!!! people will get the wrong impression!!!”
the impression that i am a hot babe with an ass that just won’t quit???? honey that ain’t wrong that’s just fact
Tumblr was on the news this morning. They said that Tumblr is a bad place because it ‘promotes self harm’ they said because of the whole thigh gap thing going on. They said that Tumblr only has skinny, almost anorexic girls. Please, we’re all obsessed with bands, food, porn, and gay fictional couples.
everyone fucking reblog this
Clearly they don’t have a tumblr.